It’s a gloomy rainy Mother’s Day here in Brooklyn NY, USA. As I sit on my couch, mimosa in hand (my plan to ward off alcohol is a bust since the birthday celebrations: will power 0 – booze 11), as my little angel is sleeping. Nap time is usually where I clean, read emails, make to-do lists, read and or write, catch-up on my, ‘homework’, passions or a webinar. This is usually about a 2-hour to 3-hour span. Saturday, the eve of Mothers Day, I blew all my free time on a nap. Hey, it’s my downtime, I’ll maximize it as I want! The older I get the less joyous and awestruck any holiday becomes. Birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day….just another day. It’s not like there’s a get out of “jail” free card. I still have to chase a toddler, clean messes, cook, stay awake. But thus far, on this Mother’s Day weekend, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed myself. I got to watch two season’s of “Dear White People”. #lit Oh, and nap! Did I nap? I got to wander the neighborhood on a meaningless search for flowers. Where is the living? Got to redeem my free coffee at Daily Press tho #winning. I do my best to be busy all the time. Careful to use my time as productively as possible. The book, my ambitions, passions, and motherhood, in general, have kept me in a constant state of motion. I feel mom guilt only sometimes but for the most part, I’m in alignment with my core values. Foster a loving, patient, tolerant and safe environment for my son to thrive. Write, cultivate, and create content that gives other women the feels and the tools to trust in their talents and journey. Core values distilled: Give myself, my son, and others space and support to express their most authentic selves. When I sit around the house not giving the household, my son, my ambitions, and my body goals (I laid down quite a bit this weekend) 110%, I can easily convince myself I’m worthless and lazy.
But I need to step back sometimes and realize I am only human and need time to rejuvenate, relax, and binge watch one of my favorite shows. It’s not like I did absolutely nothing. I had a dentist appointment across town and a day outing with the little one to Barnes and Noble. We even had a lovely pizza parlor date in which we both devoured classic NY style pizza. Oh, how we missed the old neighborhood! However, I did not finish this post, pitch a soul about a podcast appearance, write in my journal, organize my room, take Henri to get his feet sized, buy a potty or contact the manufacturer for the broken leg of my dining room chair. Quite the contrary I took a 3-hour nap and binge-watched Netflix. Something I haven’t done in ages. I know Gary Vaynerchuck would blow his shit but this momma does not feel bad about taking some time to smell the roses and devour some tacos. We all can’t go 100 miles per mile every waking second of every single day. Hurling our sanity and our tattered bodies into the whim of all our ambitions. Sorry Gary, I’ll kill it today, tomorrow, and the day after that. But from now on, Mother’s Day is the day I do nothing but what I want to do, even if that means doing absolutely nothing.